The Completely Pointless Thread II

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Patty Cake
Patty Cake
Stupid man
I'm gonna land you in the can
Roll and Pat it and mark it with a P
And pass him around to "evereebutte"

[Gunnen4u]

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Some friends and I organized a "Vetsgiving" dinner at the trap and skeet club here in town. Ton of people showed up, tons of awesome food, and a lot of shooting. Made the local news, and everything went off without a hitch. I feel like I got a few pounds heavier, dirtied up my gun a bit, and accomplished something today. It was a well-run logistical effort on our parts. If I see the new footage, I will try to post a link here. They might put it up tomorrow. I know we made the Missoulian when they ran an article off a phone interview with one of the organizers, and Student Vets Association Treasurer. Hopefully, more people will show up to the meetings we have twice a month after this.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Aw, that's really cool of you to do that, Gunnen.

I'm just watching some online fireworks regarding that retard who's been harassing me. He has a court date up here on Monday and he is totally fucked. This time the charge is extradite-able and I can't wait to see him locked up for what he's doing.

[Gunnen4u]

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Well, there are some parts of the story I will leave out, along with what was in my hand at the time the deed went down, as it created a ruckus that took a month to settle down with the big wigs.

I was working the entry checkpoint to the FOB I was on, searching stuff. I had some clown who came on base everyday to work, or well, rather, sit around and pick up a few pieces of trash walk up to the entry point. The Iraqis that worked the place were allowed to use our showers. So when this clown came up to get searched and checked, he brought his bag of hygiene stuff to take a shower with. I had him pull stuff out at a distance, and after I ascertained he had nothing that might make me into hamburger, I let him come closer for the ol' pat down and bag search. I did the bag first while the NCO on duty with me (and friend of mine from long before) watched the whole business. We always had one guy doing the pat down and search while another covered the guy being searched along with the other scumbags waiting in line.

So, he comes behind the jersey barrier (one of those short ones you find on highways a lot) to my side, and I look at what is in his bag as he pulls items out. Now, more background info: we all had to wear some form of ballistic eye-wear. Because I am a stylin' motherfucker, I had my Oakley's on with clear lenses. As he pulled out one item after another, he was being mouthy and sarcastic in bad English. I told him to shut up and keep going. All of a sudden, he goes from pulling shit out all nonchalant like, to whipping out a can of body spray/scent and spraying me in the face with it. Good thing I had my Oakley's on. I reacted and clobbered him right in the face and he stumbled back, falling over the barrier behind him.

We didn't have any problems after that. Whenever I saw my *friend* bring a truck onto the FOB, I made him take off the steering wheel (a 10 minute ordeal) for week afterward. Never had problems with him after that. I did, as the Iraqis cried to the people who ran day to day FOB operations, including checkpoints and guard mount, and there was an investigations with sworn statements, an ass-chewing from people who weren't there, and other faggotry. I think they gave that guy a bunch of ice cream to make him quit crying.

There have been variations on this story in times past depending on who I told it to (I didn't want to suffer any faggot crying about it and getting me in trouble with the World's Foremost Army), but this is the most complete run down I have given thus far. Some details are best left out.

Well, to be fair, the ass-chewing I got was more of some formality and their hearts weren't in it. I suspect they really didn't care, or applauded me secretly. I got a lot of "atta-boys" from many. Most of them fucking hated the locals, but didn't want to rile them up much and create tons of hassles because we were literally right in a neighborhood. It wouldn't have taken much for kids and others to toss a ton of shit over the walls.

Yea, my friend went from standing there picking his nose to rifle up and everyone on the ground in .2 seconds.

Here is a photo of the area I took when I got to be in the tower. I edited a copy of it in order to more accurately show you the scene of the event:



There was a line of jersey barriers just beneath the tower to separate us from the rest the entry point. Everyone else waiting in line stood by the gate near the side facing barrier where they dumped bags, pulled clothing tight against their bodies to show no hidden shit, etc. One guy shoved a cell phone up his ass on one memorable occasion.

This was taken later that shift when some Iraqi Army guys and us were looking at each others stuff:

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Bah, you were right in clocking him in the puss. I'd have done the same thing given the situation and knowing full well these people are two faced, ungrateful pricks.

Great story too. I enjoyed that

One of these days' I'll get Matt to tell his story of him mooning the Egyptians over the Suez. Being half Arab I found it funny as hell.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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And sometimes idiots who think they are outside the law actually are not.

Monday's court docket:

click for full size

   

[Medicine Woman]

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Nice work TK. I want pix of you standing in front of his cell when he's jailed.

Mean Mr Mannix
works in the park
shaves in the dark
trying to save paper...

Sleeps in a hole in his room
Saves it up to buy him some clothes
Keeps a dollar bill up his nose
Such a mean old man
mean old man

His sister Lisa
Works in a petshop
She never stops
she's a go-getter
Takes him out to look like a Queen
Only place that he's ever been
always shouts out something obscene
Such a dirty old man
dirty old man

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Depends on where and when they jail him. But yeah, I'll definitely do that. It won't be in front of his cell though. It'll be through the visitor window.

[Gunnen4u]

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Man, he is going to feel dumb.

Going to jail or getting charged with something even over internet shit has to be one of the most retarded ways to be taken down. I mean, how do you explain you did hard time because of the net?

[Twitchin Kitten]

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The guy is a moron. Do you know that while I was sitting in court, he was busy making defamatory websites against me? He needs a team of diggers to help him out of the ditch he's digging himself into.

FYI Patrick - if it's on the internet it is NOT repostable. That voice recording you stole, that is illegally taken.