Introducing Mr. Penis to Mrs. Palm and her 5 lovely daughters

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Over 1,000 Terms for Male Masturbation

 
1.    A little five on one
 
2.    Abuse the fuse
 
3.    Adjust your set
 
4.    Anger the cobra
 
5.    Anger the pickle
 
6.    Answer the bone-a-phone
 
7.    Appease the cheese
 
8.    Arm-wrestle the one eyed champ
 
9.    Asexual reproduction
 
10.    Autofellatio
 
11.    Auto-manipulation
 
12.    Ax the timber
 
13.    Badger the witness
 
14.    Bag that ass up
 
15.    Bait the mast
 
16.    Bake cream cakes
 
17.    Bake the cheese
 
18.    Banana squeezing
 
19.    Bang yourself
 
20.    Bank off shoot goo
 
21.    Bash the bishop
 
22.    Baste the turkey
 
23.    Battle the Cyclops
 
24.    Be a loner
 
25.    Beat it
 
26.    Beat off
 
27.    Beat Pedro
 
28.    Beat the banger
 
29.    Beat the beef
 
30.    Beat the bishop
 
31.    Beat the bologna
 
32.    Beat the hog
 
33.    Beat the meat
 
34.    Beat the monkey
 
35.    Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)
 
36.    Beat the one eye snake
 
37.    Beat the one eyed monster
 
38.    Beat the rat
 
39.    Beat the red-headed cock-eyed woodpecker
 
40.    Beat the shit
 
41.    Beat the stepchild
 
42.    Beat the stick
 
43.    Beat the weasel
 
44.    Beat up shorty
 
45.    Beat your cock
 
46.    Beat your gorilla
 
47.    Beat your pud
 
48.    Beat your skin
 
49.    Beatin' the baby batter
 
50.    Beef the jerky
 
51.    Beef-strokin'-off
 
52.    Ben your Franklin
 
53.    Bend the banana
 
54.    Bitch-slapping your stomper
 
55.    Blind the one eyed monster
 
56.    Blow a wad
 
57.    Blow the ceiling
 
58.    Blow up
 
59.    Blow wad
 
60.    Blow your load
 
61.    Blow your nose
 
62.    Boff up
 
63.    Bollock milking
 
64.    Bop the boa
 
65.    Bop the bologna
 
66.    Bounce Tigger
 
67.    Bounce your balls
 
68.    Box Oscar
 
69.    Box the clown
 
70.    Box the Jesuit
 
71.    Bringin' ya milk
 
72.    Buff the bullet
 
73.    Buff the pickle
 
74.    Burp the baby
 
75.    Burp the frog
 
76.    Burp the worm
 
77.    Bust a Nut
 
78.    Busting the left nut instead of the right one
 
79.    Butter the corn
 
80.    Call the captain
 
81.    Caress your zesty zambonie
 
82.    Chafe the squirtgun
 
83.    Charm the python
 
84.    Charm the snake
 
85.    Checkin' the Ol' Dipstick
 
86.    Cheesin
 
87.    Choke
 
88.    Choke the bishop
 
89.    Choke the chicken
 
90.    Choke the Choir Boy
 
91.    Choke the chubby
 
92.    Choke the monkey
 
93.    Choke the one eyed snake
 
94.    Choke the Pope
 
95.    Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse
 
96.    Choke the unemployed
 
97.    Chunking
 
98.    Churn butter
 
99.    Churn seed
 
100.    Circle jerk
 
101.    Clean the clock
 
102.    Clean the pipes
 
103.    Clear the snorkel
 
104.    Club the cucumber
 
105.    Cock blockin
 
106.    Cock pulling
 
107.    Cock smack
 
108.    Cock snot
 
109.    Come to daddy
 
110.    Corralling the tadpoles
 
111.    Crank it
 
112.    Crank one out
 
113.    Crank the cable
 
114.    Crank the crane
 
115.    Crank the gear
 
116.    Crank the one-eyed yogurt thrower
 
117.    Cream the cake
 
118.    Croke the frog
 
119.    Crown the bishop
 
120.    Cruzin' then Oozin'
 
121.    Cuff the carrot
 
122.    Cuff the carrot
 
123.    Cuff the monkey
 
124.    Cum and go
 
125.    Cum on self
 
126.    Cum on your tum
 
127.    Cum-lets-play
 
128.    Curl the honey
 
129.    Daily duties
 
130.    Dancing around the maypole
 
131.    Dancing with Mother Knuckle and her five daughters
 
132.    Dancing with the one eye sailor
 
133.    Dangle the Donkey
 
134.    Date Palmela Handerson
 
135.    Date Paula and her 4 sisters
 
136.    Date Rosie Palmer and her five sisters
 
137.    Date with Rosie bone and her five sisters
 
138.    Deal cards
 
139.    Deload the gun
 
140.    Despunk
 
141.    Destroying the slots machine
 
142.    Diddle your bob
 
143.    Do a load by hand.
 
144.    Do Mary Palm and her 5 sisters
 
145.    Do shoupa shoupa
 
146.    Do the dishes
 
147.    Do the janitor thing
 
148.    Do the Johnson and ball dance
 
149.    Do yourself
 
150.    Dog off
 
151.    Doing the Palm sisters
 
152.    Dong around
 
153.    Donkey punch
 
154.    Double Clicking The mouse
 
155.    Dr. Spankenstein Time
 
156.    Drain the dragon
 
157.    Drain the lizard
 
158.    Drain the pipes
 
159.    Drain the snake
 
160.    Drain the vein
 
161.    Drill for oil
 
162.    Drop a load before work.
 
163.    Drop the chalupa
 
164.    Drop the kids off at the pool.
 
165.    Duke your Jim
 
166.    Eat the egg
 
167.    Empty the banana
 
168.    Empty the pipes
 
169.    Empty your gunbarrel
 
170.    Erupt old faithful
 
171.    Erupt the volcano
 
172.    Exhaust the camel
 
173.    Exorcise your demons
 
174.    Extra long shower
 
175.    Fake fuckin'
 
176.    Favorite household activity
 
177.    Feed the donkey
 
178.    Feeding the chickens
 
179.    Feel it up
 
180.    Fiddle the ferret
 
181.    Fight one-eyed Willy
 
182.    Fight the one eyed purple warrior
 
183.    Fight the one-eyed monster
 
184.    Fight the purple helmet warrior
 
185.    Fight with Tarzan
 
186.    Fill up your belly-button
 
187.    Fire out the hole
 
188.    Fire the cannon
 
189.    Fire the flesh musket
 
190.    Fire the pistol
 
191.    Fire the surgeon general
 
192.    Firing a shot from the grassy knoll
 
193.    Fist fucking
 
194.    Fist rocket
 
195.    Fist-humpin.
 
196.    Fisting
 
197.    Fisting your cock
 
198.    Five against one
 
199.    Five finger disco
 
200.    Five finger shuffle
 
201.    Five fingered widow
 
202.    Five knuckle shuffle
 
203.    Five on one
 
204.    Five versus Willy
 
205.    Five-fingered humpty hump love pump
 
206.    Five-fingered wife
 
207.    Fix the clogged drain
 
208.    Flick your dick
 
209.    Fling the pudding
 
210.    Flog the Bishop
 
211.    Flog the doggie
 
212.    Flog the dolphin
 
213.    Flog the dummy
 
214.    Flog the hog
 
215.    Flog the log
 
216.    Flog the man
 
217.    Flog the mule
 
218.    Flog the one eyed gopher
 
219.    Flog the ore
 
220.    Flog the sailor
 
221.    Flog your log
 
222.    Flogging
 
223.    Fly solo
 
224.    Fondle the dolphin
 
225.    Fondle the frankfurter
 
226.    Fondle the sausage
 
227.    Foreskin mambo
 
228.    Frag your snag
 
229.    Free the captive ninja
 
230.    Free Willy
 
231.    Freshen the air
 
232.    Friction burn
 
233.    Frighten the blue veined custard chucker
 
234.    Fry the chicken
 
235.    Fry the egg
 
236.    Fuck the chicken
 
237.    Fuck the udder
 
238.    Fuck your cock
 
239.    Fuck your fist
 
240.    Fuck your hand
 
241.    Fuck yourself
 
242.    Fucking for one
 
243.    Fucking mother thumb and her 4 daughters
 
244.    Fumble your frank
 
245.    Get a handle on things
 
246.    Get a hold of yourself
 
247.    Get off
 
248.    Get some me time
 
249.    Get sticky
 
250.    Get the job done
 
251.    Get to know yourself
 
252.    Give the dog a bone
 
253.    Give the dog a walk
 
254.    Giving Kojak the third degree
 
255.    Giving yourself a helping hand
 
256.    Go and have a slap
 
257.    Go at it
 
258.    Go blind
 
259.    Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork
 
260.    Go for a spoof
 
261.    Go nut
 
262.    Grab the gusto
 
263.    Grab the handle
 
264.    Grab the meat
 
265.    Grapple the gorilla
 
266.    Grease the Pole
 
267.    Grease the rod
 
268.    Grease the wheel
 
269.    Great thoughts
 
270.    Greet Mr. Happy
 
271.    Greet the bishop
 
272.    Greeting Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters
 
273.    Grind the gopher
 
274.    Grind the groundhog
 
275.    Groom the Wookie
 
276.    Ham shank
 
277.    Hammer the lumber
 
278.    Hammer the helmet head
 
279.    Hand fuck
 
280.    Hand happy
 
281.    Hand hold
 
282.    Hand humpin'
 
283.    Hand jive
 
284.    Hand sex
 
285.    Hand shandy
 
286.    Hand Start the Yogurt Shooter
 
287.    Hand to Gland combat
 
288.    Hand to gland combat
 
289.    Hand, dick co-ordination
 
290.    Handle the merchandise
 
291.    Handy sandy
 
292.    Handy Shandy
 
293.    Hans Solo
 
294.    Harass the milkman
 
295.    Have a Barclays (Barclays Bank -- WANK - rhyming slang)
 
296.    Have a chug
 
297.    Have a frapp
 
298.    Have a tug
 
299.    Have a tug of war with Cyclops
 
300.    Have a wank
 
301.    Have fun
 
302.    Have sex with someone you love
 
303.    High-five Yule Brenner
 
304.    Hip the hop
 
305.    Hit the mitt
 
306.    Hitch-hike to heaven
 
307.    Hold the knob
 
308.    Hold the man
 
309.    Hold your baseball bat
 
310.    Hold your sausage hostage
 
311.    Home alone
 
312.    Homework
 
313.    Hone the bone
 
314.    Hump the hand
 
315.    Hump the Hebrew
 
316.    Hump the knob
 
317.    Hump the matress
 
318.    Idle hands
 
319.    Impregnate the air
 
320.    Increase the surface temperature of the ship's primary
     cannon using rapid linear motion
 
321.    Inside Slider with two balls
 
322.    Interrogate the prisoner
 
323.    Interrogate the witness
 
324.    Introduce Mr. Penis to Mrss Palm and her five lovely
     daughters
 
325.    Jack off
 
326.    Jack the beanstock
 
327.    Jack the frank
 
328.    Jack yo mac
 
329.    Jedi train in the bathroom
 
330.    Jerk and clean
 
331.    Jerk around
 
332.    Jerk it
 
333.    Jerk off
 
334.    Jerk pud
 
335.    Jerk the beef
 
336.    Jerk the chain
 
337.    Jerk the cum
 
338.    Jerk the general
 
339.    Jerk the Johnson
 
340.    Jerk the monkey
 
341.    Jerk the one-eyed snake
 
342.    Jerk the pet
 
343.    Jerk you shit
 
344.    Jerk your chain
 
345.    Jerk your gherkin
 
346.    Jerkin' the gherkin
 
347.    Jingle the Pringles
 
348.    Jingle your bone
 
349.    Jizsturbation
 
350.    Jock the sock
 
351.    Jog the joker
 
352.    Josh one off
 
353.    Juggle the balls
 
354.    Jump the pogo stick
 
355.    Just getting dressed
 
356.    Just going up to the office to use the photocopier
 
357.    Just gonna go lay down and take a nap...
 
358.    Just gonna go take a bath...
 
359.    Just need a little time with my e-mail, that's all...
 
360.    Keepin' the mortar clean
 
361.    Kill the gentleman
 
362.    Kill the Mr. Tingley
 
363.    Kneading the bread
 
364.    Knob thumping
 
365.    Knock one off
 
366.    Knock one off
 
367.    Knock the rock
 
368.    Knuckle shuffle
 
369.    Launch the hand shuttle
 
370.    Launch the rocket
 
371.    Lead pedro down the road of bulimia
 
372.    Leak the lizard
 
373.    Let Elvis leave the building
 
374.    Let loose the juice
 
375.    Lift your spirit
 
376.    Lighting the Roman Candle
 
377.    Liquidate inventory
 
378.    Log off
 
379.    Log the lumber
 
380.    Lollygagging
 
381.    Lope the mule
 
382.    Lope the mule
 
383.    Love yourself
 
384.    Lube the tube
 
385.    Lubricate the Lutheran
 
386.    Magic your Johnson
 
387.    Make a deposit
 
388.    Make cream
 
389.    Make friends with the lizard
 
390.    Make instant icing
 
391.    Make it spit
 
392.    Make it useful
 
393.    Make junior vomit
 
394.    Make love to Miss Michigan
 
395.    Make one on one love
 
396.    Make one-eye cry
 
397.    Make Peter puke
 
398.    Make stomach pancakes
 
399.    Make the bald guy puke
 
400.    Make the bald guy puke
 
401.    Make the Cyclops cry
 
402.    Make the Cyclops fight the 5 headed monster
 
403.    Make the Cyclops spit
 
404.    Make the funny juice flow
 
405.    Make the one eyed monster puke
 
406.    Make the privates stand at attention, then fall in
 
407.    Make the snake puke
 
408.    Make your own hand lotion
 
409.    Makin babies
 
410.    Mangle the moose
 
411.    Manipulate your manhood
 
412.    Marry the moose
 
413.    Massage my palm
 
414.    Massage my stiff joint
 
415.    Massage out the stiffness
 
416.    Massage the salami
 
417.    Massage the soul
 
418.    Massage your balls
 
419.    Massage your clovers
 
420.    Meat off
 
421.    Meat-Beat
 
422.    Meet Mother Palm and her five daughters
 
423.    Meet the neighbors
 
424.    Meet the President
 
425.    Milk it
 
426.    Milk Murray
 
427.    Milk the beef
 
428.    Milk the cock
 
429.    Milk the cow
 
430.    Milk the goat
 
431.    Milk the hose
 
432.    Milk the lizard
 
433.    Milk the Magnesia
 
434.    Milk the Mickey
 
435.    Milk the one eyed trouser snake
 
436.    Milk the one-eyed snake
 
437.    Milk the one-uttered cow
 
438.    Milk your meat
 
439.    Milk yourself
 
440.    Molest the bystander
 
441.    Money comes out
 
442.    Monkey dance
 
443.    Move the joystick
 
444.    Mr. Happy and his five friends have a party.
 
445.    Mrs. palmer and her 5 daughters
 
446.    My Wife
 
447.    Nuke the whale
 
448.    Number 3
 
449.    Oil the barber pole
 
450.    Oil the barrel
 
451.    Oil the Crank
 
452.    Oil the noodle
 
453.    One hand work out
 
454.    One handed pole vault
 
455.    One man and a hand
 
456.    One man show
 
457.    Our Gang Spanky Marathon
 
458.    Paddling the pony
 
459.    Paint Pontius Pilate's Palace
 
460.    Paint the ceiling
 
461.    Paint the wall
 
462.    Palm loving
 
463.    Pamela Handerson
 
464.    Pan for white gold
 
465.    Party for one
 
466.    Pat the monkey
 
467.    Pat the Robertson
 
468.    Pay bills
 
469.    Pay the pope
 
470.    Peel the banana
 
471.    Peel the carrot
 
472.    Peeling chilies
 
473.    Pet the bald eagle
 
474.    Pet the donkey
 
475.    Pet the ghurkin
 
476.    Pet the one eyed monster
 
477.    Pet the one eyed snake
 
478.    Pet the one-eyed gopher
 
479.    Pet the potato
 
480.    Pet the snake
 
481.    Pet the Willy
 
482.    Pet your third leg
 
483.    Pickle your peter
 
484.    Pimp pump
 
485.    Piston pushing
 
486.    Play a solo on my private organ
 
487.    Play ball with the boys
 
488.    Play five on one
 
489.    Play golf
 
490.    Play peek-a-boo alone
 
491.    Play pocket pool
 
492.    Play skin Banjo
 
493.    Play solitaire
 
494.    Play the bag pipe
 
495.    Play the meat pipe
 
496.    Play the skin flute
 
497.    Play tug of war with Cyclops
 
498.    Play with Burt Reynolds mustache
 
499.    Play with Fistina
 
500.    Play with Fred
 
501.    Play with lil' Elvis
 
502.    Play with Mr. Panky
 
503.    Play with myself
 
504.    Play with Peter
 
505.    Play with Pikachu
 
506.    Play with Rosey Palm
 
507.    Play with the pud
 
508.    Play with the purple headed yogurt slinger
 
509.    Play with Wally
 
510.    Play with Willy the wonder worm
 
511.    Play with your cock and balls
 
512.    Play with yourself
 
513.    Play your guitar
 
514.    Play Zelda
 
515.    Pluck the ducky
 
516.    Pluck the mushroom
 
517.    Pocket billiards
 
518.    Pocket fishing
 
519.    Pocket pool
 
520.    Polish Lord Helmet
 
521.    Polish the baton
 
522.    Polish the bishop
 
523.    Polish the candlestick
 
524.    Polish the dolphin
 
525.    Polish the helmet
 
526.    Polish the knob
 
527.    Polish the Ol' Torpedo
 
528.    Polish the one eyed gopher
 
529.    Polish the one eyed weasel
 
530.    Polish the Papal Podium
 
531.    Polish the pewter
 
532.    Polish the piston
 
533.    Polish the pope
 
534.    Polish the shaft
 
535.    Polish the silver
 
536.    Polish the sword of happiness
 
537.    Polish the torpedo
 
538.    Polish your Oscar
 
539.    Polish your pipe
 
540.    Polish your rocket
 
541.    Polish your whistle
 
542.    Polishing the periscope
 
543.    Pop the head
 
544.    Pop the pistol
 
545.    Pop the top off the Champaign bottle
 
546.    Portuguese pump
 
547.    Pound off
 
548.    Pound the flounder
 
549.    Pound the hammer
 
550.    Pound the pony
 
551.    Pound the pud
 
552.    Powder your nose
 
553.    Prime the pump handle
 
554.    Prune the shroom
 
555.    Pud pulling
 
556.    Pud whacking
 
557.    Puddin'
 
558.    Pull a quickie
 
559.    Pull and squirt
 
560.    Pull dinky
 
561.    Pull it
 
562.    Pull it hard
 
563.    Pull Nixon's nose
 
564.    Pull off
 
565.    Pull one off
 
566.    Pull one out of the bag...
 
567.    Pull pud
 
568.    Pull Stretch Armstrong
 
569.    Pull the chain
 
570.    Pull the cord
 
571.    Pull the dog's tail
 
572.    Pull the fun lever
 
573.    Pull the goalie
 
574.    Pull the meat
 
575.    Pull the noodle
 
576.    Pull the pickle
 
577.    Pull the pig
 
578.    Pull the pipe
 
579.    Pull the plowman
 
580.    Pull the Polish pork
 
581.    Pull the pork
 
582.    Pull the turkey
 
583.    Pull your plumb
 
584.    Pull your pud
 
585.    Pull your toy
 
586.    Pull your wire
 
587.    Pulling your Yankee Doodle
 
588.    Pump
 
589.    Pump jacks
 
590.    Pump mini me
 
591.    Pump sperm
 
592.    Pump the balls
 
593.    Pump the Pole
 
594.    Pump the watergun
 
595.    Pump your gun
 
596.    Pump your pud
 
597.    Pump'n the water rocket
 
598.    Punch the clown
 
599.    Punch the eclair
 
600.    Punch the monkey
 
601.    Punch the munchkin
 
602.    Punish Percy in the palm
 
603.    Punish the evil merchant
 
604.    Puppy whacking
 
605.    Pushing the envelope
 
606.    Put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college
 
607.    Putting Mayonnaise On The Garlic Bread
 
608.    Ram the rod
 
609.    Rattle the one eyed snake
 
610.    Ream the one eyed semen demon
 
611.    Release some steam
 
612.    Release the hounds
 
613.    Release the pressure
 
614.    Release the valves
 
615.    Relieve your sperm bank
 
616.    Relieving a little tension
 
617.    Relish up the hot dog
 
618.    Remove the rust
 
619.    Ricky Wrestling
 
620.    Ride the big dipper
 
621.    Ride The Dolphin
 
622.    Ride the rod
 
623.    Ride to heaven
 
624.    Ring your cock
 
625.    Rinse on
 
626.    Rocketing
 
627.    Rod yankin
 
628.    Roll dice
 
629.    Rolling the dough
 
630.    Rope the mule
 
631.    Rope your goat
 
632.    Rough up the little man
 
633.    Rough up the suspect
 
634.    Row the boat
 
635.    Rub a dub dub
 
636.    Rub it silly
 
637.    Rub one off
 
638.    Rub one out
 
639.    Rub the button
 
640.    Rub the faucet
 
641.    Rub the fireman's helmet
 
642.    Rub the knob!
 
643.    Rub the magic lamp
 
644.    Rub the pipe
 
645.    Rub the rhubarb
 
646.    Rub the rod
 
647.    Rub the sausage
 
648.    Rub the tool
 
649.    Rub your monkey
 
650.    Rub your nub
 
651.    Rubadubdub
 
652.    Run off a batch
 
653.    Salute the flag pole
 
654.    Salute the general
 
655.    Salute the scumlord
 
656.    Sausage stroking
 
657.    Say hello to Mr. Happy
 
658.    Say hello to the colonel of love
 
659.    Say hi to your monster
 
660.    Scramble the sausage
 
661.    Scrub the deck
 
662.    Self deflation
 
663.    Self diddle
 
664.    Self fuck
 
665.    Self fucking
 
666.    Self gratification
 
667.    Self indulgence
 
668.    Self motivation
 
669.    Self service
 
670.    Self sex
 
671.    Self-satisfaction
 
672.    Self-suck
 
673.    Sex with da hands
 
674.    Sex with Simon
 
675.    Shag your shank
 
676.    Shag-yer-self
 
677.    Shake hands w/the unemployed
 
678.    Shake hands with a pole
 
679.    Shake hands with Abraham Lincoln
 
680.    Shake hands with Ben Franklin
 
681.    Shake hands with Elvis
 
682.    Shake hands with Mr Peeper
 
683.    Shake hands with the ambassador of love
 
684.    Shake hands with the devil
 
685.    Shake hands with the governor
 
686.    Shake hands with the one eyed milk man
 
687.    Shake hands with the president
 
688.    Shake hands with the sheriff
 
689.    Shake hands with the unemployed
 
690.    Shake hands with the wife's wedding present
 
691.    Shake hot, white coconuts from the veiny love tree
 
692.    Shake it
 
693.    Shake my finger
 
694.    Shake off
 
695.    Shake the bottle
 
696.    Shake the goo off
 
697.    Shake the grapes
 
698.    Shake the old man
 
699.    Shake the pepperpot
 
700.    Shake the snake
 
701.    Shake the snake
 
702.    Shake with the tall guy
 
703.    Shake your fist angrily at your ex-girlfriend
 
704.    Shake your martini
 
705.    Shakin' the bacon
 
706.    Shaking hand with Colonel Sanders
 
707.    Shampoo the carpet
 
708.    Shampoo the moose
 
709.    Sharpen the pencil
 
710.    Shift with the manual transmission
 
711.    Shine the bishop
 
712.    Shine the car
 
713.    Shine the helmet
 
714.    Shine the pole
 
715.    Shine the spear
 
716.    Shine the telescope
 
717.    Shine the wood
 
718.    Shine your salami
 
719.    Shock the monkey
 
720.    Shoot for pearls
 
721.    Shoot hoops
 
722.    Shoot old yeller
 
723.    Shoot putty at the moon
 
724.    Shoot putty at the moon
 
725.    Shoot the gun
 
726.    Shoot the plane
 
727.    Short-arm stroking
 
728.    Shroom pullin'
 
729.    Shuck the corn cob
 
730.    Shuck the cornstalk
 
731.    Sin dirty with thy self
 
732.    Siphon the python
 
733.    Skin the sarge
 
734.    Skin the sausage
 
735.    Skin your frank
 
736.    Slam the ham
 
737.    Slam the stick
 
738.    Slap little Johnny behind the German helmet
 
739.    Slap spanky
 
740.    Slap the bishop
 
741.    Slap the carrot
 
742.    Slap the dick
 
743.    Slap the dummy
 
744.    Slap the ham
 
745.    Slap the salami
 
746.    Slap the salmon
 
747.    Slap the sausage
 
748.    Slap the stick
 
749.    Slap you cock
 
750.    Slay the dragon
 
751.    Slick the stick
 
752.    Slime the salamy
 
753.    slippery
 
754.    slippin' salami
 
755.    slipping
 
756.    Slobbin' the Milosevich
 
757.    Smack
 
758.    Smack baldy on the head
 
759.    Smack my pud
 
760.    Smack off
 
761.    Smack the burrito
 
762.    Smack the salami
 
763.    Smack your monkey
 
764.    Smelly jelly making
 
765.    Smoke the turkey
 
766.    Sneak a wink at wiggly
 
767.    Sock the cock
 
768.    Solo serve
 
769.    Spank frank
 
770.    Spank frank
 
771.    Spank it
 
772.    Spank it
 
773.    Spank Milo
 
774.    Spank off
 
775.    Spank one
 
776.    Spank that ass
 
777.    Spank the chicken
 
778.    Spank the dolphin
 
779.    Spank the hotdog
 
780.    Spank the money
 
781.    Spank the monkey
 
782.    Spank the old lady
 
783.    Spank the pup
 
784.    Spank the sausage
 
785.    Spank the Spam
 
786.    Spank your love life
 
787.    Spank your monkey
 
788.    Spank your pud
 
789.    Spanktervision
 
790.    Spanky's Revenge
 
791.    Speed shifting
 
792.    Spend time with an old friend
 
793.    Spewin' a white one
 
794.    Spill milk
 
795.    Spin the dreidel
 
796.    Spit da' sperm
 
797.    Spit shine the knob
 
798.    Splish Splah
 
799.    Sploshing
 
800.    Sporting the tent
 
801.    Spraying the belly with sticky white love-piss
 
802.    Spunk the monkey
 
803.    Spunk up
 
804.    Squeeze a few rounds off on the pump action shotgun
 
805.    Squeeze cheese
 
806.    Squeeze off a load
 
807.    Squeeze one off
 
808.    Squeeze the big guy
 
809.    Squeeze the Charmin
 
810.    Squeeze the Cyclops
 
811.    Squeeze the duck's head
 
812.    Squeeze the juice out the head
 
813.    Squeeze the lemon
 
814.    Squeeze the sausage
 
815.    Squeeze the squid
 
816.    Squeeze the tomato
 
817.    Squeeze the Twinkie
 
818.    Squeeze you lizard
 
819.    Squirt the Bert
 
820.    Squish the squid
 
821.    Stain the mitt
 
822.    Start the engine
 
823.    Start the lawnmower
 
824.    Stick it
 
825.    Stick shifting
 
826.    Stock
 
827.    Stoke the Strokin' stack
 
828.    Strangle the bishop
 
829.    Strangle the one-eyed trouser snake
 
830.    Strangle the snake
 
831.    Strangle the snake
 
832.    Strangle the warrior
 
833.    Stress reliever
 
834.    Stretch it
 
835.    Stretch one out
 
836.    Stretch the salami
 
837.    Stretching the truth
 
838.    Strike oil
 
839.    Strip the bark
 
840.    Stroke
 
841.    Stroke it
 
842.    Stroke off
 
843.    Stroke that big thing
 
844.    Stroke the chicken
 
845.    Stroke the choad
 
846.    Stroke the cock
 
847.    stroke the crank
 
848.    Stroke the ding-dong
 
849.    Stroke the dolphin
 
850.    Stroke the donkey
 
851.    Stroke the longhorn
 
852.    Stroke the manroot
 
853.    Stroke the monkey
 
854.    Stroke the mushroom
 
855.    Stroke the oar
 
856.    stroke the one-eyed snake
 
857.    Stroke the poke
 
858.    Stroke the puppy
 
859.    Stroke the salami
 
860.    Stroke the salami
 
861.    Stroke the schlong
 
862.    Stroke the shaft
 
863.    Stroke the slug
 
864.    Stroke the Snake
 
865.    Stroke the stick
 
866.    Stroke the strudel
 
867.    Stroke the stump
 
868.    Stroke the weasel
 
869.    Stroke the yoke
 
870.    Stroke your cock
 
871.    Stroking the dog
 
872.    Stroking the fireman
 
873.    Stroking the flagpole
 
874.    Struggle for life
 
875.    Strum the drum
 
876.    Strum your guitar
 
877.    Summon the jizz
 
878.    Swat off
 
879.    Swing the balls
 
880.    Swing the thing
 
881.    Tackling the totem
 
882.    Take a load off
 
883.    Take a ride on the slip n' slide
 
884.    Take a squirt
 
885.    Take batting practice
 
886.    Take Capt Solo on the Kessel Run
 
887.    Take Captain Picard to Warp Speed
 
888.    Take care of a big problem
 
889.    Take care of business
 
890.    Take matters in hand
 
891.    Take the edge off
 
892.    Take the sausage hostage
 
893.    Take your banana boat to tuna town
 
894.    Tame the beast
 
895.    Tame the one eyed spitting snake
 
896.    Tame the shrew
 
897.    Tame the vein
 
898.    Taming the purple headed warrior
 
899.    Tantalizing your toboggan
 
900.    Tap a teste
 
901.    Teach the dog a lesson
 
902.    Teach the monkey
 
903.    Tease the weasel
 
904.    Tease to please
 
905.    Teasing one out
 
906.    Tenderize the meat
 
907.    Tenderize the pork
 
908.    Tenderize the steak
 
909.    Test the probe
 
910.    Test the purple headed yogurt thrower
 
911.    Thawing the meat
 
912.    The gentle handshake
 
913.    The ol' 5 against 1
 
914.    The penis pull
 
915.    The right hand maneuver
 
916.    The sofa
 
917.    The twist
 
918.    Thelma Thumb and her four sisters
 
919.    Think of your mom
 
920.    Thump the stump
 
921.    Thumping the stump
 
922.    Tickle the angus
 
923.    Tickle the meat curtains
 
924.    Tickle the peter
 
925.    Tickle the pickle
 
926.    Tickle the tentacle
 
927.    Tickle the tiger
 
928.    Tip the hat
 
929.    Tommy Tank
 
930.    Toot the horn
 
931.    Torture little Timmy
 
932.    Torture the monkey
 
933.    Toss off
 
934.    Toss the salad
 
935.    Touch the toucher
 
936.    Touch yourself
 
937.    Train the chicken
 
938.    Train the purple-headed warrior
 
939.    Tug the handle
 
940.    Tug the tassel
 
941.    Tug the turkey
 
942.    Tug your rope
 
943.    Tugging the boat
 
944.    Tug-O-War With Cyclops
 
945.    Turn Japanese
 
946.    Tweak your tool.
 
947.    Twiddle the bone flute
 
948.    Ugly Man Sex
 
949.    Unisex
 
950.    Unleashing
 
951.    Unload your gun
 
952.    Unsheathe the meat sword
 
953.    Up and down
 
954.    Use the joystick
 
955.    Vex the vicar
 
956.    Vice grip
 
957.    Virgin Love
 
958.    Visit the petting zoo
 
959.    Vote Republican
 
960.    Wag it
 
961.    Wag the dog
 
962.    Walk the dog
 
963.    Wang chungin
 
964.    Wang off
 
965.    Wank
 
966.    Wank and crank
 
967.    Wank it
 
968.    Wank off
 
969.    Wank the monkey
 
970.    Wank the pud
 
971.    Wank the sock
 
972.    Wank the wanker
 
973.    Wank the willy
 
974.    Wank your shank
 
975.    Wankin and spankin
 
976.    Wanky panky
 
977.    Wash the Buick
 
978.    Wash the rod
 
979.    Watch some pooh
 
980.    Wax the Bat
 
981.    Wax the bishop
 
982.    Wax the carrot
 
983.    Wax the chrome
 
984.    Wax the dolphin
 
985.    Wax the flagpole
 
986.    Wax the frog
 
987.    Wax the ol' Torpedo
 
988.    Wax the pole
 
989.    Wax the weasel
 
990.    Wax the willie
 
991.    Wax the Winnebago
 
992.    Weenie whacking
 
993.    Wet the whistle
 
994.    Whack it
 
995.    Whack jack
 
996.    Whack off
 
997.    Whack off like a red-headed stepchild
 
998.    Whack the Chalupa
 
999.    Whack the pole
 
1000.    Whack the pud
 
1001.    Whack the rod
 
1002.    Whack the weasel
 
1003.    Whack the wizard
 
1004.    Whack the wood
 
1005.    Whack your wack
 
1006.    Whackin winky
 
1007.    Whacking it
 
1008.    Wham the bone
 
1009.    Wheel it
 
1010.    Whip it
 
1011.    Whip pud
 
1012.    Whip the noodle
 
1013.    Whip the weenie
 
1014.    Whip up some baby batter.
 
1015.    Whippin' cream
 
1016.    Whipping' it good
 
1017.    Whipping the skippy
 
1018.    White Water Wristing
 
1019.    White water wristing
 
1020.    Whittle the wood
 
1021.    Whoop the mule
 
1022.    Whoop your pudd
 
1023.    Wind up the cock clock
 
1024.    Wind your sun dial
 
1025.    Windsurf on Mt. Baldy
 
1026.    Withdraw from the spankbank
 
1027.    Work out the third leg
 
1028.    Workin' it
 
1029.    Working the wiligger
 
1030.    Wrestle the bald head champion
 
1031.    Wrestle the champ
 
1032.    Wrestle the turkey
 
1033.    Wrestle with Jimmy
 
1034.    Wrestle with the one eyed champ
 
1035.    Wrestle with the one-eyed monster
 
1036.    Wrestle with the one-eyed-trouser snake
 
1037.    Yank off
 
1038.    Yank the chain
 
1039.    Yank the crank
 
1040.    Yank the dog
 
1041.    Yank the plank
 
1042.    Yank the sausage
 
1043.    Yank the Yankee
 
1044.    Yankie the Wankie
 
1045.    Yolk the egg