People annoy me, part 2,386,330

[LKTraz]

0

Oh, for heaven's sake, "can't we all just get along"? Thats a quote from someone that just got beaten up by police, I think, but I thought it might work here....

Wow.

That would be Rodney King. Yes.

[Twilla]

0

"Just" was 20 years ago in 1991.

[Twilla]

0

I thought I'd revive this instead of taking over the pissed off thread.

Once again, someone online is annoying me. At hulu. I can't figure out why people can't just post like reasonable adults or skip the threads they think are stupid entirely.

I'm watching Grimm, which has turned out to be a pretty damn good show. However they keep showing blonde characters as being more attractive and desirable which has always been a sore spot with me since I was a little kid and the best selling doll was blonde bimbo Barbie. So for the latest episode which is roughly based on Cinderella, I wrote:

What made Lucinda the beautiful sister?

From "Happily Ever Aftermath," Season 1, Episode 20.

Because she's blonde? Because she wore those ridiculous high heeled 'slippers' with the feathers on the arch and generally acted like a brainless bimbo? Granted, the actress is very pretty but I thought the step sisters were as well.
I thought the old trope of brunettes being plain janes was in the past but this show keeps digging it up.

So I get a mixed bag of replies that vary from thoughtful and intelligent to mildly stupid but this one pushed my "I'd like to pop you in the nose" button:

Ali is trying to say that you can't blame one show alone for an archaic thought in our society...oh and by the way the second sister is a redhead not a brunette, so, yeah...
okay on to my point! Mary, get off your soapbox and watch the show. Every time i read the comments, there you are with your feminist views. i acknowledge your right to your opinion but it's really getting old.
and who is anyone to judge which actress is pretty and which is not? the actress for the hexenbiest is very pretty but they purposefully made her up and filmed her so that she would look off to emphasize that she was a witch.
that's how this show works, they use the film style to give you clues about the characters.

What the fuck? I'm usually commenting about how hot the captain is, or other silly remarks. I've never said anything about an actress being unattractive and in fact, I've mentioned that most of them were good looking. Was it feminist to ask why the blonde was considered better looking? Weird. I probably shouldn't have answered her but I did:

Are you out of your mind? For one thing, you make feminism sound like a bad thing. For another, and the most important, I don't make feminist remarks on here, you dolt. I'm merely asking some opinions. If you don't like my comments, skip them.

Perhaps you're confusing me with someone else. Otherwise your remark is nonsensical and foolish.

Then there's this bit of brilliance:

You must not be blonde. You sound like a jealous high school student council girl who rags on blondes. You aren't fooling anyone, brunette.

My reply:

Are you aware that anyone can be blonde? Thanks for your thoughtful input.

I didn't think my original post was that aggressive but it really brought out some weird remarks.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Those that are the most stupid reply the fastest and with the most uninformed answers.

That would have pushed my button too.

[Twilla]

0

I unsubscribed after calling the first person a dumbass. I'm sure there will be howls of rage. hehe

I should be ashamed since I'm basically doing the same thing I just accused others of doing but screw that, she started it.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

That's the beauty of anonymity on the net

[John L]

0

Whew,................for a minute there I thought you were referring to me.

I feel better now.

[Aurora Moon]

0

lately, one thing that gears my gears about people is that most people don't realize how privileged they truly are in America and so they often take things for granted. Then they act like ungrateful assholes or get defensive about it if some person complains about not having the same privileges as they do because they somehow see it as a personal attack on them when it's not.

Heck, a lot of people often get a lot of privileges just because of who they are, and what they are. Have you ever heard of the saying "Check your privilege"? Basically it's when you take a good look at things that you would normally take for granted, or don't give a second thought to. It's a good way to become more thankful for the things you just think of as "normal".

Take for example, the privileges that hearies have over deaf people:
-Are privileged to apply to any university they choose without discrimination and not have to worry whether an interpreter will be available to interpret when they attend said university.
-Can have direct communication with their peers and teachers in a classroom without the use of an interpreter.
-Get to share the same cultural values as their family.
-Don’t have to defend and fight to have their language recognized and respected.
-Can apply at any job they choose without fear of discrimination.
-Can watch almost everything on TV, at movie theatres, and on the internet without needing captioning.
-Are considered a part of “normal” society.
-Can automatically expect fair customer service at stores and restaurants.
-Can easily communicate on the telephone and not be hung up on because the person on the other side of the line doesn’t want to deal with them.
-Have auditory devices easily accommodated to them such as doorbells and alarms.
-Do not have their intelligence automatically questioned as soon as someone meets them.
-Do not have people come up to them and try and be funny by mimicking their language.
-Can go out without making sure they have paper and pen on them at all times in case they need to communicate.
-Do not have to worry about whether they are lip-reading someone properly.
-Do not have to worry about showing up and be singled out as “the only person like that” at an event.
-Can be happy with the way they are and not have to defend their reasoning for not wanting to change anything about themselves.
-Can go to any social event without feeling left out because the majority is communicating in a different language, on a regular basis.
-Can feel sure that any social event they choose to attend will be easily accessible to them, and do not feel the need to get in touch in advance to ensure that it is accessible.
-Get to move along in society on a daily basis without ever having to think about how their hearing has privileged them.

Disclaimer - I am not trying to say that every hearing person has every privilege on this list, obviously some don’t for various reasons, but this is just a general list of privileges that hearing people may have.

Then there's the privileges that men have that women generally don't. Now before the men here get huffy and mad, keep in mind I'm not saying that bad things don't happen to males... on the contrary I do regonize that men have their own share of problems which should be respected and dealt with accordingly.
But here's the list of male privileges:
1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true.
3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.
5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are.
6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low.
8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent.
12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.
13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.
15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.
21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.
22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.”
25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability.
26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring.
27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time.
28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.
29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)
32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.
35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks.
39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.
40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do.
43. If I am heterosexual, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.
44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.”
45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)
45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.
46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.


Now what brought on those ridiculously long lists, you ask? Well, I was talking to this person offline about how difficult it was to be a deaf woman sometimes... and that deaf men actually got it easier than deaf women did at times. He went to the same school as I did, actually.

He was deaf too, so he basically agreed with me about the deaf issues that we had to face... but when I started bringing up male privilege VS female privilege, He got mad for some reason.

Especially when I made the note that males as a whole had more privileges than women did. I was simply pointing out facts, not making a personal attack on the male race as an whole. I was saying that while there was plenty of crazy feminazis out there, there was still a good reason for Feminism to still exist, and had nothing to do with blaming men for all the evils of the world.

He practically started foaming at the mouth and claimed that feminism was just a evil way to demoralize and belittle all men, and so on forth. He wouldn't even listen when I tried to explain about feminism's original origins with Susan bell and how it had nothing to do with female dominance, no matter how much the modern Femnazi would like it to be.
And when I brought up the male privilege list again as a point that there was still a lot of inequality in the world, he started calling me names and left.

If I was sexist, I would had said something like "pffft! men, always so emotional and unreasonable!" But instead I'll just chalk it up to certain people refusing to see how good they have it in life compared to others, and how they should be thankful... because hey, it could be worse.

[Twilla]

0

I would have just said "pffft! men, what a bunch of assholes!"

[Aurora Moon]

0

The saddest part of the whole conversation was that I never got around to listing the female privilege checklist as seen here: http://www.feministcritics.org/blog/2008...privilege/
or a better list here: http://sweatingthroughfog.blogspot.com/2...ilage.html

it would had been so much fun to assign value points to each checklist and see how it all adds up... then we could had discussed if females or males really did have it better or worse than each other, or if it was mostly the same set of problems.