James phones his mum

[Rhubarb]

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Mark was at work yesterday when the office phone rang at about mid day.

Although he was busy in the kitchens, Andy, the Head Chef was out of the office, so Mark answered it.

'Hello Mark, is my mum there?'
'No James'
'Oh, is she in the Officer's Mess today?'
'No James' (Mark is at his best a helpful person)
'What shift is she on?'
'Have you tried getting out of bed and going downstairs to see if she is in your kitchen?'
'Errrr. No'
'James it is your mother's day off today' ...........long pause.......
'Oh dear, I'll get up. Thank you Mark'


James was working on the Army camp until Easter. Mark said it was a shame, he was a hard worker, but it was suggested he left. The soldiers were very disappointed.

It turned out he would invite the lads down the town to the night clubs and 'help them' chat up the girls. It was apparently great for the soldiers. The girls felt safe with James and knew there was unlikely to be any repercussions after a night out with them.

It was on the way home to camp the problem arose (no pun). James would offer the soldiers a blow job.
Well, the soldiers did know he was extemely Gay just didn't expect him to come on to them.

Fortunately for him they never took him seriously, his mother worries one day he will get beaten up for his suggestion.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Mother is correct on that worry. One day he's going to come on to someone extremely homophobic and end up in serious trouble.

[Gunnen4u]

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Homophobic?

Hell, if some guy offered to give me a blowjob, I would be at least very disturbed and I don't even give a shit about homosexuality for the most part. Especially if he took me out drinking and offered afterward when everyone was shitfaced. This process sounds nefarious. Just because the TV shows how much a military will celebrate gays, it doesn't mean that it's a gay wonderland.

I am glad they know who James is and can make a proper judgment, but I pray for his sake he never crosses the wrong person - it sounds like he doesn't do such things around folks he doesn't know so that is half the battle won.

Funny story overall though.

[Rhubarb]

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Just because the TV shows how much a military will celebrate gays, it doesn't mean that it's a gay wonderland.

Still very frowned upon here. Your sexual persuasion isn't an issue but your behaviour is, fortunately the soldiers are welcome locally and always have been. I suppose its because they are just passing through and are never here for more than a month.
The Marine camp is another story and there once were places that were 'no go zones' for residents. My father made it quite clear about where it was safe to go on a Saturday night because the Marines were banned from the club. The camp has been scaled down although rumour has it (and we will never know) the SBS and SAS are still based there.

First thing I did when I met my husband was make sure he wasn't a Marine. He truthfully said he was a Chef but wasn't too happy when I found out he was also a soldier..but hey ho...too late by then my parents liked him.

[LKTraz]

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Now that's funny!

The part about his town antics though.......

I agree that he needs to be especially careful about doing such things. If he were to be over here and try that at someplace like Cherry Point or Camp Lejeune he'd be in some neck deep shit.

[Gunnen4u]

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Yea I would never let any future daughters of mine date any servicemen period. They are largely garbage when it comes to quite a few things. Ones that pass through month to month are ok because they don't stick around long enough to ruin anything I imagine. I can this all this with the utmost authority.

There is a difference between being *gay* and being a traditionally masculine homosexual. Most of the really effeminate twerps annoy me in short order. Soldiers tend to not mind the masculine types or if they have regular qualities.

[Rhubarb]

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Yea I would never let any future daughters of mine date any servicemen period. They are largely garbage when it comes to quite a few things. Ones that pass through month to month are ok because they don't stick around long enough to ruin anything I imagine. I can this all this with the utmost authority.

Hmm.. that used to be the case, not any more. To be married to a soldier is something now.

To join up now you need a minimum qualification of 2x A levels and to be an officer a Degree. There is so much high tech in war fare now they don't need 'bozos'.
The 'Pioneers' where soldiers the Army didn't know what to do with, they emptied bins, dug ditches, polished things. Either civilians do it or its done by a machine or computer. They all got made redundant.

If Mark tried to join now he may have got in on the catering experience he had already achieved, but otherwise it no thanks. He wanted to be a Tankie, has driven tanks too, but chose to tranfer out, when he found he was likely to be moved to London and sit on a horse outside Horse Guards Parade- nightmare with all the tourists!