Rocky Horror Live!

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Ok so here's the deal. Rocky Horror Saved My Life is a fan documentary production of retards from the Fair Lawn / Montclair NJ area that puts on this thing.

I did NOT know this was a bullshit production of some lame assed crew from NJ badly performing on stage in front of the screen while the movie was playing behind it. Lip-synching of course.

People were there dressed up in ALL THE WRONG CLOTHES from the audience too.

The older people who actually experienced the thing when it all started were walking around with a look on their faces that said it all. This ain't right. Me included.

So doors open at 10 and they start playing all that freakin' new techno style pop music the kids listen to these days. You know the shit - music to murder by. I can't stand that shit. It gets me all on edge and uptight, angry and my head keeps going, "make it stop, make it stop, make it stop" over and over until the music finally stops.

FINALLY! It stops and some stooge gets on stage. I think great, lets get on with the movie.

Nope. That don't happen. He welcomes everyone and runs a clip of debauchery and vomiting. Seriously. Then he makes everyone stand. I don't. I already know this is bullshit. I feel it in my bones. Matt stood. This retard starts babbling and make everyone say the "Transylvanian Plegde" Matt sat his ass down - WTF? THERE IS NO SUCH THING! THEN OMG THEN he makes "us" (THEM) repeat the "Transylvanian Anthem". Again, WTF? THERE IS NO SUCH THING!

Instincts were right. This is bullshit.

So now, they go on and on about how if you're gay, you're going to be offended, if you're straight you're going to be offended and if you're Bi, you're confused.

Oh ha ha ha that was so funny I forgot to laugh.

And more bullshit about how you do / did this because you were out of the 'mainstream', blah blah blah ad naseum.

If they are so out of the mainstream why were they shoving maistream bullshit music down my throat?

Anyway, they put on these productions all over the place to raise money for their lame-assed documentary.

While everone is still standing like drones, they ask if you've seen RHPS 500 times or more in theaters, sit. And they wind their way down to a handful left standing and they make a big deal out of the 'virgins'. They have them all go on stage and make a big deal out of it all and hand out un-lubed condoms to them. A contest begins. First one to blow it up and burst it wins.

W. T. F?

So they pick one guy form the virgin group to play the bride in the first scene of the movie. Oh the honor! Pfft.

We get instructions on what to throw, when to throw it and NOT to throw it at the cast. Ever.

The nonsense finally ended and they start the movie. As Richard O'Brien is singing, some chubby little girl comes out and starts doing a striptease to the song. Really? You strip to someone singing accolades to old horror flicks? Stripped right down to her undies and pasties.

I told Matt this is Lou Reed all over again. I'm ready to go. He said give it five more minutes.

The whole time I'm waiting for Johnny Rotten to get on stage and ask if we've ever felt cheated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjgE4kNSU74

Opening scene starts. The wedding. We didnt' make it to the engagement. We upped and left. Downstairs and gambled $10 away and then hit the party pit bar to watch the band there. They play the same fucking songs we just got away from Finished my drink and we left for the hotel. Wait till I tell you about that.

Someone should have mentioned this was not a theater production on the ticket purchase page. I will NOT be kind in my review. How can you bastardize what was once Holy?

You don't organize your RHPS experience! We'd go and we'd have a smoke filled room, no security and everyone behaving themselves (no violence) and having a great time.
You'd have 5 Frankenfurters on stage and no one gave a shit. IT WAS NOT ORGANIZED. It was fun and spontaneous.

So we go back to the Ramada. Note the name RAMADA. I pick a name brand hotel because I want a clean fucking room.
Nope. It's a fucking section 8 dump.

The lights don't work and we're scrambling for a light.
I tell Matt DO NOT put the bag down until I check for roaches.
He thinks I'm nuts. Nope, been there, done that and I know what to poke to make them come out.
So far so good. Please keep the bag in your hand still.
Get to the bathroom and the fucking light nearly falls on my head.

The room is somewhat gross, but bearable.
We look at the coffee pot and it's a nasty, filthy mess. I put a note in it and said, "VILE FILTH!"

I filled out the card of opinions. They are not going to like the answers IF it makes it to the front desk.

I'm going to be making a long complaint to Ramada corporate. Turns out the business card there's a tiny printed caveat, "This facility is operated under a license agreement with Ramada Worldwide inc."

I'm pretty sure Ramada expect them to keep the place up to Ramada standards.

We never made it to Shakespeare in the Park. We drove a few miles south to Lucy the Elephant while we were there since Matt never saw it. Went home and crashed and I still can't believe that shit happened.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to see the movie without that shit going on in my head ever again.