Gold Medal Nagging

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

So we got back late, around 10:45 from food shopping. Matt was the nag. I kept telling him to quit being a little bitch loudly throughout the store.

Matt:"I hate the way you go shopping. You're supposed to go around the edges first then go up and down the aisles so you know what to get with the meat."

Me: No. You go get all your fruit and veggies first, bakery second since the two are next to each other and then go up and down the aisles and grab the meat at the back of each aisle as you wind through. Why would you go around the edges first when all the most perishable stuff is there?

Matt: Are you sticking to the list? We have an awful lot of stuff in here.
Me: Yes, bitch. Look it says: Veggies, Meat, fruit, ..... he looks at it.
Matt: You mean you didn't write specifically what you need?
Me: Sure I did. I just didn't say how much. You know If I write Cantaloupe and it looks like shit I need to substitute it anyway, so why bother with specific fruit and veggies? I'll just condense it and say 'veggies & fruit' and it covers it all. Works for me.
Matt: Mumbling something bitchy inaudibly.

Then we started ramping it up at the checkout for fun.
Since I like to bag my own, we made it a point to tell that to the cashier. She was a nice lady. We had her cracking up the whole time checking out.
There was one woman in front of us expecting the cashier to bag all her stuff for her. Matt of course was bitching like a girl about it but I enjoyed it. It gave me time to arrange my items the way I wanted them sent down to me.

Matt: Why did you pull the cart all the way down with food left in it that has to go on the belt?
Me: I did not you did you liar.
Lady: laughing and snorting.

Matt: hurry! don't let her bag! You sure you got it handled?
Me: This feels like Beat the Clock! She's sending things down to test me isn't she? (said loudly)
Lady: Laughing her ass off and nodding her head yes.

Matt: HURRY! there's people behind us wanting to check out. (keep in mind our items are STILL on the belt waiting to be sold.)
Me: Screw them. Let them say something, I'm betting they won't want to hear my reply.
Lady: Laughing again, with tears this time and says: "I want to hear it if they spout off!"

Matt to lady: I bet you get a lot of people who expect you to do the bagging.
Lady: Not really. Most people prefer to bag themselves.
Matt: I'm surprised.
Me: That's because you're standing there bitching like a girl all the time to notice.
Lady: laughing some more.

Matt: Will you finish already? Crap, look how much you spent!
Me: How much did we spend?
Matt: Over $200 so far and she's still ringing things up!
Me: Shut up, bitch. It's not like I bought frivolous items! I'm going to make some damn good food for you to eat out of all of this. You should be thanking me instead.
Matt: For what? Spending my money?
Me: Yes for spending money to slave all weekend cooking damn delicious food for you to eat. We could always return it all and starve.
Lady: Hardly able to contain herself on this one, she's laughing her ass off.

And that was some of the banter that kept the lady amused on the last leg of her shift. She thanked us for being so funny and pleasant because the bigger problem is most of her customers are cranks or Bennies with rudeness on the side.