Question of the day.

[Vizth Hal]

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What was the best thing before sliced
bread? ~Simone Taylor, London

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Spoiler

Wooden legs, stout, second wives, the King James Bible,
iron bridges, public executions, hot acorns at the theater,
the London Bridge, and Rita Hayworth’s tits are among
the things that have been historically referred to as “the
best thing since.” Many other verbatim references are to
be found among letter-writers, diarists, and journalists
to “the worst thing since”: the Black Death, Alaskan
whores, that bastard Cromwell, France, the French,
French anything, German anything (foreign anything,
in fact), the Industrial Revolution, and, in Whitman’s
famous words, “the law against buggery.”
~Terry Graite, Holyhead , Wales

We in the Best Thing Since Society have spent years
campaigning for something to replace sliced bread
in the “best thing since” stakes. We are hopeful of
recognition through avenues such as this column,
so that people might start to call various things the
“best thing since…” Here is a selection of our current
alternatives: resealable coffee packets, the suck-nipple
on bottled water, cash-back, the “recall email” tool on
Microsoft Outlook, Snake II, multi-region DVD players,
and the Washington Post Giant General Knowledge
Crossword.
~Jeremy Shrimp, Best Thing Since Society, Washington, DC

As ousted chair of the Best Thing Since Society,
reading Mr. Shrimp’s facile suggestions, I thought it
might illuminate your readers to see the other things
that were once considered for entry by that pathetic
organization: the Concorde, Col. Oliver North, the
widget, audio cassettes, Madonna getting into movies,
leg warmers, spam, Dan Quayle, medium-wave radio,
boxed wine, modernism, postmodernism, and the Emmy
for Outstanding Host of a Reality Show.

It will be apparent how transient the appeal of each
of these things was. Yet sliced bread remains with us,
as useful as ever.
~Jonathan Radiohead , Next Best Thing Since Society,
Boulder, Colorado

This question was most interesting to me, as a former
baker by trade. The best thing before sliced bread was
having ordinary, unsliced bread and a full set of f*cking
fingers.
~Harry Noel, West Tittering, Shrops