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50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Twitchin Kitten - 03-31-2010
50 Lessons Learned From Movies & TV
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
15. All single women have a cat.
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
23. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son’s eighth birthday.
27. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
28. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
29. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
30. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
31. If you decide to hack into the CIA database, all you need is a laptop and an internt connection. it will usually take about 10 seconds to get into the system and you will usually be undetected.
32. No matter how dirty the water is, it is still possible for you to jump in and open your eyes underwater. You’ll be able to see everything clearly and your eyes wont hurt.
33. In every bar you go into, the bartender will always know how to make any and every long named drink of your choice.
34. When walking in a quiet and dark area, its only fair to ask if someone is there.
35. It’s always possible to outrun a explosion/fireball by running straight towards the camera, sometimes in slow motion.
36. The prologue and/or epilogue, when applicable, is always narrated by a soothing calm monotone voiced individual, preferably Morgan Freeman.
37. Never be afraid to jump off of a building into an open dumpster, as the contents will most likely always be clean, fluffy garbage bags.
38. Most police officers HATE partners. If they do have a partner that they trust and like, he/she will die.
39. The last bad guy in a shootout is too tough to die fast like everyone else. He must pretend to give up or be dead, and suddenly try to shoot one of the good guys. Then and only then can he die quickly.
40. Cars can screech tires and burn rubber even if they’re on gravel or sand.
41. Everybody’s phone number starts with 555.
42. Monsters always make noise before attacking.
43. If you have face stubble….you have a dark mysterious past.
44. Ancient Romans had English accents.
45. Nobody has morning breath in the movies…the first thing a couple does is kiss each other when they wake up.
46. All helicopter crashes occur on the other side of the mountain.
47. Computers in sci-fi films have either male or female voices that speak in a calm, reassuring tone even in the most extreme situations.
48. In high speed chases, no car ever runs out of gas.
49. Funerals usually happen when it rains. The hardest, bravest, coolest person is usually the one without an umbrella or hat and usually stands alone either to the side or behind everyone.
50. If your female who has never been on a date or even been hit on, don’t worry. All it takes is some contacts, new hair styles, and new clothes to make you the baddest bitch in the town.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Jamminitin - 03-31-2010
Great list.
Last night I wasted my time watching "Powder Blue" and for that reason I will list: Before a long lost husband/father/friend dies, they will do something "impossible" for you.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
When your gun runs out of ammo throw it at your enemies instead of keeping hold of it to hopefully reload it later.
Breaking someone's neck with a loud crack is as easy as snapping a breadstick in half.
When in a restaurant play with the food on your plate but never put any of it in your mouth.
No one ever says "Just a minute, I need to go to the toilet".
The hero can automatically drive any vehicle he comes across.
All martial arts experts can float in slow motion.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
No one ever locks or unlocks their car door.
If you are a cop your new partner will always be the mirror opposite of you in every way, always.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
When calling someone on the phone never say "Hello" or identify yourself in any way.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
If a character is dying their last words will always be coherent and meaningful.
When typing on a computer characters never make typing errors, ever.
If a character develops a cough they are always terminally ill, always.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
The guy with the English or clipped mid Atlantic accent is always secretly the bad guy.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
Only American forces landed during D-day, the British, Canadians, the free French, the Polish, The Australian and New Zealand Royal airforce, and the Norwegian Navy were having tea and crumpets and playing Bridge at the time.
RE: 50 Lessons Learned from Movies & TV - Black Sun - 03-31-2010
Firearms do not have safety's, ever.
All TV's show a large proportion of cowboy/Indian chase scenes.