+- Twitchin Kitten - conversation community (https://twitchinkitten.com)
+-- Forum: The Club House (https://twitchinkitten.com/forum-6.html)
+--- Forum: Laugh Your Ass Off (https://twitchinkitten.com/forum-38.html)
+--- Thread: California vs Montana (/thread-2132.html)
California vs Montana - LKTraz - 01-22-2011
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.
Final cost: $7,154,400.00
Montana :
The Governor of Montana is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
Final cost: $0.50
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Montana is not.
RE: California vs Montana - Twilla - 01-22-2011
I've noticed in a lot of those "wild animal savagely attacks jogger" stories from California that the jogger is almost always in a wilderness area and they end up shooting several animals "just in case." So not only is the budget fucked, they're killing animals needlessly.
RE: California vs Montana - Flamethrower - 01-27-2011
All good jokes and humor have some basis in truth and this one rings as loud as the bells of St. Mary's!