The Grim North

[Twilla]

0

I thought I'd google the term since seeing it on BS's location description a while ago and found a humorous site...

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_Grim_North

History

In order to preserve the paradise that is northern England from the plague of Yuppies, Merchant Bankers and Management Consultants that infests southern England, Oscar Wilde suggested that when visiting the south, all northerners should pretend that the north was Grim. Specifically that it always rained, all food was fried and the inhabitants unwelcoming.
Scouse Coat of Arms

To support this, teams of volunteers spray all passing cars and trains with water, and hold pictures of grey clouds on bamboo poles over major traffic routes (southern English do not travel on minor roads). Many writer and actor friends of Oscar helped by penning long, terrible tales of poverty and misery in northern towns and then making gritty BBC films about them.

In reality, northern England is a sun-kissed land of gently rolling hills and sheep that even the Welsh would envy.

The best part of the North is the great county with the name of Northumbria. Although it is mainly colonized by barbaric and heathen farmers, it is a top tourist destination for Scandinavian and Japanese tourists due to it's warm tropical climate. It is however thought by Southern Englishmen not in-the-know, to be the grimmest place on Earth thus making them miss out on the fun. This is as said above all part of a conspiracy.

During Romans times, a wall was built to keep the Picts lead by Keira Knightley and some Old Git out of the fertile lands of Greater Wales, however when bands of exiled German and Jutlandic prisoners were transported to the penal colony of Anglia (see England) the wall (or waall as it was known) was mostly torn down to build inns, roads, the Tyne Bridge and Angel of the North (said to be a heathen representation of Grimm's crashed aeroplane).

[Black Sun]

0

That is pretty funny.

I live north of Hadrian's wall, so hundreds of years ago I would have been one of Picts the Romans were so shit scared of.