2015 in orifice bound objects.

[Vizth Hal]

0

http://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-did...1749308157

Ear

SAFETY RAZOR
MECHANICAL PENCIL LEAD—“HER FRIEND ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED IT IN THERE”
FINGER RING
PIECE OF FOAM FOOTBALL
“PUT TISSUE PAPER IN EAR TO KEEP HAIRSPRAY FROM GETTING IN EAR”
TOY CELL PHONE
“WAS DOING A MAGIC TRICK AND STUCK A TOY EYEBALL IN EAR”
SEASHELL
BEAN
PIECE OF STRING
“PATIENT CLAIMS SOMEONE HID A PIECE OF CRAYON IN HIS EAR TODAY IN SCHOOL”
PIECE OF SOAP
RUBBER BAND
“LADYBUG FLEW IN EAR WHEN RIDING BIKE. NO MENTION OF HELMET”
FISH HOOK
“SOMEONE THREW A BB AND IT LANDED IN PATIENT’S EAR”
TOY STICKY HAND
POTPOURRI
PLASTIC RASPBERRY FROM A FLORAL ARRANGEMENT
“HAD LEAD FROM A PENCIL IN BOTH EARS AND A PIECE OF BLUE PAPER IN LEFT EAR”
GRASS
GASOLINE
ROSARY BEAD
KNITTING NEEDLE
“PATIENT STATES ROACH WAS IN EAR, STABBED IT WITH PIN, SUSTAINED PERFORATION OF TYMPANIC MEMBRANE”
LEGO
PIECE OF CHOPSTICK
“12 YEAR OLD MALE STATES THAT LAST EVENING, HE STUCK A PLASTIC BB INTO HIS EAR. ‘JUST BECAUSE.’”
PIECE OF BLUETOOTH EARPIECE
A SMALL RED BATTLESHIP PIECE FROM THE GAME

Nose

TIN FOIL
ORANGE POM-POM
CANDLE WAX
“WAS PLAYING WITH A BALLOON & IT ACCIDENTALLY POPPED & A SMALL PIECE WENT INTO HIS NOSTRIL”
HAIR TIE
DOLL’S SHOE
HALLOWEEN DECORATION
“WHILE ATTEMPTING TO DO MAGIC TRICK STUCK A PENNY UP NOSTRIL”
PILLOW STUFFING
SPONGE
SCREW
TOY CAR WHEEL
PEANUT
“WAS FOUND IN BATHROOM STUFFING TOILET PAPER UP NOSTRIL”
MOLDING CLAY
PEBBLE
CHAPSTICK
STRAWBERRY-SMELLING STICKER
WET PIECE OF CARDBOARD

Throat

BROOM
MARSHMALLOW
LIGHTER
“WAS EATING BEEF JERKY, WHEN HE OPENED THE PACKAGE OF SILICA AND SPRINKLED IT ON THE BEEF JERKY”
GOLD TOOTH
CONFETTI
“A METAL DECORATION FROM HER PANTS”
TAPE
PERFUME BOTTLE CAP
CANDY WRAPPER
“PATIENT WAS DANCING AROUND THE HOUSE WHEN PATIENT SWALLOWED A QUARTER”
“SWALLOWED A QUARTER WHILE BRUSHING TEETH”
PIECE OF A CD
PLASTIC EYES ON STUFFED TURTLE
KEY CHAIN
BALLOON OF MARIJUANA
“ATE A HOT DOG WRAPPED IN BACON WITH TOOTHPICK INSERTED IN IT, SWALLOWED TOOTHPICK”
PIECE OF PLASTIC FROM VACUUM-SEALED BEETS
WIG
TOILET PAPER HOLDER
2 AA BATTERIES, 2 LOCKS WITH KEYS,
BULLET
“DRINKING FROM A SODA CAN SWALLOWED A BEE BEE STUNG PATIENT IN THROAT”

Penis

HALF A PENCIL
PENCIL ERASER
PEN CAP
PEN
MARBLE
COAT HANGER
“PUT A PLASTIC STRAW IN HIS PENIS WHILE HE WAS HIGH ON CRYSTAL METH”
PLASTIC TUBING
SCREWDRIVER
MAGNETS

Vagina

MAKEUP BRUSH
FOLDED UP PAPER CUP AND STICKERS
CELL PHONE
HUSBAND’S PENIS RING
PERFUME BOTTLE
TWO TAMPONS
TOY PLASTIC SPOON
MAKEUP SPONGE
GOLF BALL—“WANTED TO DO PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES”
A JINGLE BELL
PIECE OF PLASTIC REINDEER
WET WASHCLOTH
EARRINGS
VIAL OF FENTANYL
TOY TEAPOT
SNORKEL

Rectum

“THINKS HE HAS TOOTHBRUSH CASE IN RECTUM, DOESN’T KNOW HOW B/C HE WAS DRUNK”
TOY BABY BOTTLE
GLASS BOTTLE
“THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS AFTER HIM SO HE PUT PLASTIC BAG/PILL BOTTLES UP RECTUM”
“CRAYONS AND COINS”
DICE
HANDLE OF TOILET PLUNGER
TOILET BRUSH
“7 YEAR OLD MALE WATCHING A VIDEO INVOLVING ALIENS RECTAL PROBING PEOPLE AT HOME, DECIDED TO TRY IT, PUT PLASTIC TOY SCREW IN RECTUM”
SALT SHAKER
SMALL TOY
LARGE TOY
PLASTIC “SQUINKY” TOY
“CONSTIPATION—DILDO STUCK IN RECTUM”
SCREWDRIVER
WATER GUN
BATHTUB DRAIN PLUG
BOBBY PIN
LARGE ELASTIC STRING
“ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”
MARKER IN A GLOVE
“HAS 2 GOLF BALLS UP RECTUM AND WANTS TO HAVE REMOVED”
FLASHLIGHT AEROSOL CAN
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
CAN OF HAIR MOUSSE
HOMEMADE DILDO
TOY SHARK
“WAS AT A ‘FISTING PARTY’ AND HAS A SPIKEY RUBBER BALL THAT LIGHTS UP STUCK IN RECTUM.”
EGG

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

And none of them got an award for this stupidity?

[Biker Dude]

0

And none of them got an award for this stupidity?

You can't give awards for this, it would amount to 'participation awards'. This is a list of pretty normal ER complaints.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Every ER should keep little "awards" for this shit and hand each dumbass one when they leave. Make it say something embarrassing like, "Recipient of the 'wrong thing up my ass' award" - or some shit like that.

[twisteroo]

0

“ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

I'm not sure if I would want to got to one of this guys parties or not.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Yeah, that one was particularly weird. What kind of parties is a guy like that giving?

[twisteroo]

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Sounds like some kind of ass party.

[LKTraz]

0

LOL......takes me back to my EMT days.

I went on a few calls for "stuck objects".
Mostly they were kids with things in their ears or noses but we did get one for a girl with a peeled banana up her ass. Our local Dr was the local ambulance dispatcher's husband and he came to the scene. He told her "It's soft food. Just take a shit and you will be fine!"

Yeah.......we went to the bar with Doc and had some giggles later that evening.

[twisteroo]

0

What did the girl with the banana in her ass look like? I might have offered to put her in a video.

[ralgith]

0

So... back when I was in high school some fellow students had to make a "stuck object" call. They weren't friends, hell I didn't even know their names before this happened. Anyway, they were "Goth" (Quotes there because they were wannabes), and they had all sorts of piercings and shit like that. Well, he was eating her out on her parents' kitchen floor and got his tongue ring stuck in her clit ring. Dumb fuckers anyway. So she had to call 911. After that her parents had a bit of an issue with him lol.