Not so Jollie Bus trip

[Rhubarb]

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This was one of four vintage London Transport buses taking visitors out for a run. Because the buses are decommissioned they cannot charge a fee or do 'stop and drops'. What they can do is drive a busful of passengers from a A to B using a pre-arranged destination by letting the passangers know how long the trip is, for example :
'This bus will be back here in 25 minutes.'
'This bus is going to take a circular trip of one hour' (not stopping at all)

Well.............it was very cold and cloudy. We wanted to be out of the wind and kill some time. The event was small and we couldn't move the cars for at least 3 hours.
So...our friend Terry (anyone remember him from our Dutch trip in the over tuned SAAB?) and his friend 'The Mad Professor', Jeff who was driving Terry's car for him, Mark and myself jumped on the 'Router'.
We failed to get any information, how long the trip was.

It was a nice trip (I actually hate buses, but these trips are fine because although they still lurch through the gear box they don't stop and start at a bus stop every minute or so).
A Out of the airport (where the event was)
Through the woods.
Over the traffic lights and the bridge.
Onto the 'Spur Road' (by-pass dual carriage way).

Hurrah We are heading for Bournemouth!

Off at the round-a-bout that takes us into town and over the train bridge.
'We are going Train Spotting' Says I joking to Terry.

We are!
The bus stops at the train station and turns off the engine ( B).
The family behind us get off to take their small son to the toilets (he is so excited). Sad train and bus 'spotters' with their camera's and note books get on.
'How long are we here for?' asks Mark.
'About 5 minutes, before the London coach arrives and needs the bus bay'.

So he decides we have enough time to dash into ASDA (think Walmart- same company) and buy a newspaper and some milk for all those cups of tea the Mad Professor was brewing on his homemade steam and paraffin burner.

We jump off the bus leaving Jeff and disabled Terry behind. As we head for the shop Mark stops.
'Tell you what, you can run faster than me, go and get the milk and I'll hold the bus for you'.

Now do you see where we are going?

I get into ASDA, me thinks 'Hmmm something not quite right here'
Grab the paper run down the fridge aisle, grab a shelf stacker. 'Where's your milk?' He directs me on.
Something is really odd here
Grab the milk and head for the checkout.
There are loads of tills and most have trolleys at them. I thought 'till or self serve? Self serve I get in a mess with. Till!'
Get to a till where there are two teenagers with bottles of pop and some clothes and their money ready.
The Asian salesgirl is tidying plastic bags- WTF (as TK would say)
I asked the girls why is there a wait? The tills are locked until 11am

What! 'I have a bus to catch!' The girls look at me, as I look at the huge all glass panoramic window overlooking the train station.
'Oh no' I groan 'There's my bus'
The two girls and the till girl look out the window and watch the red double decker go over the train bridge out of town.
Ching! The till drawer bursts into life and the noise of conveyer belts and piped music starts. That was what was missing!
The noise of profit.

So now I'm in no hurry I wander back to the station. Watch the London coach pull in and leave. A Greyhound bus arrives (called Norma Jean) heading for Nottingham- I've only got £3.50 on me, so no trip there to see friends. I read the paper (at a distance or the big print) without my glasses. Another coach arrives and the parking attendant pops out of his office and is directing it into a bay.....so another vintage bus can tuck in just in front. Only problem is....there are more train and bus spotters waiting too by now. The bus is already full by the looks of things

A couple of men get off to take photo's. Eveyone is taking photo's so I jump on along with another couple who I didn't see before but the did the same as me and got left behind. I sit down, so does the old lady. Her husband went upstairs and found a seat. The photo men try to get back on the bus. By now some of the other spotters have found seats.....the bus is full. The photo men are kicked off and told to wait for the next bus (25 minutes).
The bus misses the gears climbing the hill but since it was built in 1953, I forgave it.

Meanwhile

Mark gets on the bus and tells Terry I'm on my way. The bus starts its engine. Mark bangs on the window between the cab and the seating. The driver looks at him but carries getting into gear and pulling away. Mark protests to one of the men on the bus (he drove the bus to the station). 'My wife!'
Terry and Jeff start laughing at Mark. 'You are so dead when she gets back'
They get back to the event and Terry suggests Mark phones me on my mobile. He hasn't brought his phone. So Terry, not having my number calls No1 son, Philip and asks him to phone me.
A few seconds later the SAAB's glove box starts playing 'Jumping Jack Flash'. Terry just creases up.
So...Mark decided to push onto the next bus. Only the Mad Professor isn't so mad as it appears. He thinks there was another bus going to the station as they were going back to the airport. If Mark got in the next bus he would see the other bus passing on the dual carriageway.
So he waits at the queue for the 'jollie' and waits and waits.

As I get off the bus Mark is there at the folding door. He was ready to hide behind Terry (who although still uses a walking stick is a big lad) but sees I'm grinning.
Well I actually got to read the Sunday paper for once!
So, the Mad Professor set up his tea brewing machine and and we all had a cuppa using the milk I bought.

[twisteroo]

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Sounds like the kinda crap that happens to me except the handcuffs and the K9 biting me were left out.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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OMG I laughed out loud literally through this whole story!

Knowing Mark, I thought he was the one wandered off on you (like he and Matt did in Philly when you were trying to buy a phone) and you had to hunt him down.

[Rhubarb]

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Yea like normal!

How we managed to be with each other so long is amazing, by rights we should have lost each other by now.

[Rhubarb]

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Sounds like the kinda crap that happens to me except the handcuffs and the K9 biting me were left out.

That must be the Saturday night tour.....