Gold Medal Nagging

[Rhubarb]

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I made the horrid trip to the supermarket this morning, I hate food shopping
(even worse when Mark rubs his hands and announces we are shopping)

So I did the usual - stuck to the list and rallied charged the trolly through the gossipers.
As I was returning to the car with my booty I saw the car next to mine had its owners arrive with their shopping too. A rather large short mother, a sulky skinny short father and a toddler (carbon copy of dad).

The women didn't stop to draw breath, I'm sure.
She was putting the bags in the car as he put the toddler in the car. The toddler was crying constantly. She was ranting about how she wasn't going to let her husband go shopping with her again, look how badly he packed the bags, the frozen stuff was in the wrong bag, this was getting squashed because that was too heavy on top of it, where did he put the nappies, why didn't he get the bigger trolley like she said etc.
He shuffled off with the empty trolley to put it in the trolley park. Meanwhile off she goes again at the poor toddler, what had he done to his tee-shirt, why was he sitting like that, to stop crying or she would give him something to cry about (why do mothers say that?)

As I put my trolley away I had to pass the husband, so I said 'Do you have a patio at home?' He looked at me puzzled then smiled (wish he didn't he had several teeth missing) 'Good idea- thankyou'

As I got back to the car , she was driving away with him sheepishly in the passanger seat- she was clearly still nagging at them both.

[Twitchin Kitten]

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Ha! We're off to go food shopping tonight. I dread it. The people annoy me, Matt whines the whole trip and forget it if he suddenly has to pee or is hungry! He bitches the whole time.

I can sympathize with the woman and the poorly packed bags.... that's why I insist on doing it myself. I just wish they went back to paper bags. I can fit more in them! Letting the cashier pack for you is akin to asking for your food to be damaged. Every time I let them they wind up putting a finger in the meat - through the wrapping! - while packing it in a separate bag for safe keeping!

Crap, I sound like the woman you're complaining about!

[Twitchin Kitten]

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So we got back late, around 10:45 from food shopping. Matt was the nag. I kept telling him to quit being a little bitch loudly throughout the store.

Matt:"I hate the way you go shopping. You're supposed to go around the edges first then go up and down the aisles so you know what to get with the meat."

Me: No. You go get all your fruit and veggies first, bakery second since the two are next to each other and then go up and down the aisles and grab the meat at the back of each aisle as you wind through. Why would you go around the edges first when all the most perishable stuff is there?

Matt: Are you sticking to the list? We have an awful lot of stuff in here.
Me: Yes, bitch. Look it says: Veggies, Meat, fruit, ..... he looks at it.
Matt: You mean you didn't write specifically what you need?
Me: Sure I did. I just didn't say how much. You know If I write Cantaloupe and it looks like shit I need to substitute it anyway, so why bother with specific fruit and veggies? I'll just condense it and say 'veggies & fruit' and it covers it all. Works for me.
Matt: Mumbling something bitchy inaudibly.

Then we started ramping it up at the checkout for fun.
Since I like to bag my own, we made it a point to tell that to the cashier. She was a nice lady. We had her cracking up the whole time checking out.
There was one woman in front of us expecting the cashier to bag all her stuff for her. Matt of course was bitching like a girl about it but I enjoyed it. It gave me time to arrange my items the way I wanted them sent down to me.

Matt: Why did you pull the cart all the way down with food left in it that has to go on the belt?
Me: I did not you did you liar.
Lady: laughing and snorting.

Matt: hurry! don't let her bag! You sure you got it handled?
Me: This feels like Beat the Clock! She's sending things down to test me isn't she? (said loudly)
Lady: Laughing her ass off and nodding her head yes.

Matt: HURRY! there's people behind us wanting to check out. (keep in mind our items are STILL on the belt waiting to be sold.)
Me: Screw them. Let them say something, I'm betting they won't want to hear my reply.
Lady: Laughing again, with tears this time and says: "I want to hear it if they spout off!"

Matt to lady: I bet you get a lot of people who expect you to do the bagging.
Lady: Not really. Most people prefer to bag themselves.
Matt: I'm surprised.
Me: That's because you're standing there bitching like a girl all the time to notice.
Lady: laughing some more.

Matt: Will you finish already? Crap, look how much you spent!
Me: How much did we spend?
Matt: Over $200 so far and she's still ringing things up!
Me: Shut up, bitch. It's not like I bought frivolous items! I'm going to make some damn good food for you to eat out of all of this. You should be thanking me instead.
Matt: For what? Spending my money?
Me: Yes for spending money to slave all weekend cooking damn delicious food for you to eat. We could always return it all and starve.
Lady: Hardly able to contain herself on this one, she's laughing her ass off.

And that was some of the banter that kept the lady amused on the last leg of her shift. She thanked us for being so funny and pleasant because the bigger problem is most of her customers are cranks or Bennies with rudeness on the side.

[Rhubarb]

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Well You pair sound like Mark and me when we get to the checkout, but I'm Matt and Mark is you.

Stock comments are often
'Who put this in the the trolley? (me)
What is this? (him)
Do we really need this? (me)
Finally always Mark
HOW MUCH!
Well you put 90% of this junk in the trolley dear (me)
This is not junk! Good honest wholesome biodegradable food that Tesco fob us off as fresh. (him- with sarcasim)

If we get a good checkout with a young student on, they get really confused and not sure if we are bitching or not. They will defend the food or not, depending if they are newbies at the job.

I spent £90 this week, we needed almost everything, the cupboards were bare and I shopped for the kitchen at work (I get the bonus points). Nothing was out of the reduced bins, because I really couldn't be bothered if Organic carrots are reduced to 75p I would still rather buy value pack ones 1-5kg for £1-, after the piggies don't know the difference!

The checkout girl was a sweety and putting the stuff through in batches so I could pack the bags as I wanted and how I'd put it on the belt. She chattered how she and her boufriend were off on holiday and how excited she was and how the weather looked crap for the weekend and her friends had gone to a music festival and she couldn't get ime off but at least she wasn't going to get wet working.
(My boss has gone to the same event) So we had a giggle about camping in the rain with mobile washing and toilet facilities.

She almost apoligised for the bill, until I pointed out it could have been more if Mark had been with me.